so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
