problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
