I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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