i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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