my vag is so smooth its legendary
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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