I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize