this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
