I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
