We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
