so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
