i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
