i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
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