You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
