brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
