I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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