I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
