Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize