sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
do nipples grow back?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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