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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?

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• (518): View more from New York

  I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all

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