Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
