I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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