i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
