im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
