I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
