I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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