giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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