Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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