Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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