so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she peed on how many people?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Randomize
