Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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