haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The feeling are messing with the penis
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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