I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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