cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My penis needs a shock collar
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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