I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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