He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
me + whiskey = a bad person
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
