you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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