Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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