I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I have feelings that need drinking.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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