So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
