I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
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Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
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I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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