After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize