Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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