That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
