Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
This is not my ceiling
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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