He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
