I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
