Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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