The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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