I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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