on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
How naked do you want me to be?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
