woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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