worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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