If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize