I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
