Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
