and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
