I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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