I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
