I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
