I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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